Wow... now here's a textbook example of the anatomy of a "falling away."  It's practically a direct parallel of the first lie believed in the Garden of Eden.

I won't name this guy (although I don't think today's computer technology will make it very hard to find him).  But here's how he describes his transition from a fundamentalist, Bible College, background to "emergent" po-mo.  I cannot tell you whether he ever had at faith at all, and to be honest, I really doubt it.  God's promise to keep those that he has saved would seem to suggest otherwise.  So it's entirely possible that he had a "gettin' saved" experience, followed by Bible College, followed by a ministry position, and never even for a moment was actually a child of God.  Lord knows, THAT happens. 

But lets assume that he was a sincere "believer" back in the day.

Watch how, degree by degree, he is slowly led away from his faith in God, to believe a lie.

There has been so much of a re-shaping of my beliefs in the last five years that I am a heretic to my former self. 

 

Segregated Beliefs

In the fundamentalist Bible College that I graduated from, we even called it separation. The goal was be holy as God is holy and to separate ourselves from the unholy world and other believers who don’t agree with us on nearly every detail of doctrine. I was on the lookout for those who might corrupt my theology.

 

Elitist Beliefs

Upon getting out in the real world and allowing my heart and brain to kick in, my Bible College training about separation didn’t seem to make a lick of sense nor have any biblical support. So, I adopted a belief system that allowed interaction with other less enlightened believers, but I was still sure that I had correctly sorted out all things theological and felt a little sorry for those who hadn’t yet arrived (like me).

 

Cool Beliefs

As the seeker church movement hit the scene, I was moved by its passion to reach the outsider. So, I took out our conservative evangelical belief statement and removed all of the theological terminology and replaced it with common words that explained the terms. I felt way ahead of the game compared to those other stodgy old Evangelicals.

 

Confused Beliefs

Several years ago, I read A New Kind of Christian, by Brian McLaren and it caused a new kind of confusion that left me spiritually homeless. I questioned much of what he said and agreed with enough that great chunks of what I had believed all my life became suspect. At times, I cursed this book because it was a part of what led me into a personal wandering and wondering about what I believed, something that, on at least some level, I wish had been left unstirred. Often as I examined something that the emergent theologians and philosophers were saying, I would initially recoil against it, only to eventually wind up believing it. My beliefs were in a state of uncomfortable flux.

 

Faith Without Fear

These days, my faith has been so tested by circumstances and challenged by other thinkers, that I have to stop and think about what I really do believe. Now, I often say, “I think…” instead of, “here is what I believe.” Sometimes, I surprise myself by how much (or how little) my perspective has changed on various points, but everything is held without fear of questioning or doubt. I don’t feel that my faith is something to guard or to fight for, but something to live. My relationship with God didn’t disintegrate; actually, I think it is more real than ever. After all, what kind of a God would we have if he were easily figured out, dissected and diagramed and what kind of relationship would we have with Him if it were based on regurgitating textbook answers?